The Same Old Story

With all the talk of Hurricane Florence, and worrying about friends and relatives who might be affected, I got to thinking about dark clouds.

I had a good friend who claimed that she and her husband continually had a black cloud hanging over them. Each time something negative happened to them she would say, “It’s just our luck!” Anna (not her real name) genuinely believed that the Universe was out to get them. She also truly believed that my husband and I were so deeply loved by the Universe that we were blessed with eternal sunshine over our heads and nothing bad ever happened to us. Here’s what I’m talking about…

Anna & John (not his real name) once had a bad leak in their house and needed to have their entire roof replaced, right down to the rafters because the plywood roof sheathing was rotting. Obviously, this was going to be much more expensive than just needing a new layer of asphalt shingles. What did I hear? “It’s just our luck! This always happens to us. Now we can’t go away this summer.” And do you want to know what was I thinking? No??? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway. I was thinking that if they had had their roof inspected and repaired when they’d noticed a tiny leak, three or four years earlier, they wouldn’t have such a large repair bill now. My husband and I took care of household repairs before they became major projects. Did we have better luck than our friends…or were we merely more responsible?

Another time, Anna and I had spent the day doing some early Christmas shopping and had quite a few shopping bags to put in our cars. Anna had to pick John up from work and then they went to a restaurant for dinner. Later that evening I received a call from Anna; she was upset and had been crying. “All my stuff was stolen from our car while we were having dinner! It’s our bad luck from that damned black cloud again !” Was it that black cloud? Or did this happen because the bags were sitting out in the open in the back of the car rather than in the trunk and out of view?

Over the years, I repeatedly heard Anna telling people (most of them strangers) about the bad luck that followed her and John around. Prior to my knowing Anna and John, there had been one particular year in which numerous major life events had occurred – John had been badly burned when he’d been working oh his car and it caught fire; Anna’s mom passed away from cancer; they experienced a bad house fire and lost most everything; John had a massive heart attack (he was only in his 40s) and nearly died; and their oldest daughter, at the age of 19, was killed in a car accident. (I think you can see why Anna thought they were cursed.) Anyway, Anna would tell her story, over and over and over again. And she would sit up tall and tell the same old story with pride because of all the attention she got. It was as though Anna secretly liked that black cloud.

So, what do you think? Have Anna and John been cursed with a big black cloud that hangs over them and brings nothing but bad luck? Has Anna befriended it? What about Karma? I certainly know a few of their family secrets that might be responsible for Anna and John getting a Karmic ass kicking. And what about plain old, garden-variety, negative thinking? Did they attract bad things because Anna kept telling the same old story about how they “always” had a black cloud looming above them? My belief is the latter. I have always tried to look at things in a more positive way and a good sense of humor has played a big part in all of that.

I have known Anna and John for over 30 years. John, in spite of experiencing a few more serious cardiac events, is now 82 and still doing pretty well. I think that’s rather miraculous; certainly not black cloud results. I should mention here that I have always known John to be pretty upbeat about things. Anna is the one who is forever looking for bad things to happen. And while she looks for that, Anna misses a lot of the good stuff. She has spent nearly 40 years dreading John’s death and missed the blessing of his still being alive.

John always liked when Anna spent a day out with me because she always came home laughing and in a good mood. Whenever she spent the day with her friend Maggie (not her real name), who was generally a downer, Anna would come home in a glum mood. John said he could always tell which friend she had been with, just by her demeanor.

So, when things aren’t going well and it feels like the Universe is out to get you, there is something you can do about it. Simply ask yourself, “What have I been thinking about? Am I telling myself the same old story?” And then go find something to laugh about. The black cloud of doom will pass and the sun will begin to shine.

I no longer live near Anna & John and we have also grown far apart. Anna has chosen to remain beneath that black cloud and I have chosen to follow the light of the sun. That might seem sad, but it's not. People come and go in our lives for a reason. Every person serves a specific purpose. We each have our own journey. My friendship with Anna taught me a great many lessons and for that, I am very grateful.