Letting Go

As we enter a new year, many people are making resolutions, setting goals and making plans for the next twelve months. I believe that there are hindrances that need to be cleared away before any of the resolutions, goals or plans can reach fruition. And that calls for Letting Go.

You might be asking, "Letting go of what?" Well, there are lots of things; people, places, things, thoughts, beliefs, anger, negative thinking, resentment, and...I think you get the idea.

I've held on to things that ended up getting in my way or holding me down.

Keeping things in closets and drawers "in case I'll need it someday" has only caused me stress. I worry about needing something right after getting rid of it and I worry about the lack of storage space because I've kept so much. In all honesty, I have discovered a sense of freedom each time I've Let Go of things I thought I needed.

I've learned to Let Go of worrying about what others might think of me. I don't avoid having my photo taken because "I'm too fat" or "I don't look my best." Each photo represents a minuscule moment of my life. It does not define me. It simply shows that I existed. What I think of myself is what matters most.

I'm learning to Let Go of people and friendships when they become toxic. I've been learning to Let Go of the need to please others, especially when it's at my own expense. I'm Letting Go of the need to control everything. I'm learning to Let Go of fear.

As I write this, I am reminded of the time I attempted to learn how to water ski. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, owned a boat and was quite good at water skiing. One beautiful summer day we were out on the water with another couple and I decided to give this skiing thing a go. I had always been athletic and figured this was something I could manage to do. Maybe I should mention at this point that I was NOT a swimmer; even my dog paddle was bad! (Both statements are still true today.) And, as much as I have always loved looking at bodies of water, I've never loved being IN water unless I could sit or stand.

So, there I was, in deep water, ready to go. With a ski belt snuggly around my waist to keep me buoyant, two long water skis attached to my feet and my hands wrapped around the handle of the tow rope, I called out to say that I was ready. The boat started to move forward. As the boat picked up speed, I prepared to pull myself up to a standing position and ski. I pictured myself zipping across the water and creating a magnificent rooster tail behind me. To clarify, a rooster tail is an arcing spray of water created by the skis.

Sadly, the only thing creating a rooster tail was my butt! Despite my valiant efforts, I was unable to get up to a standing position. This was frustrating. I tightened my grip and pulled on the tow rope handle even harder. I felt myself rising up. YES, I knew I could do this! I felt myself going up and up...and forward. The next thing I knew, I was on my stomach and being dragged through the water. I had gone from confident to sheer panic mode in an instant. I held on tightly to the handle. It was my life line. And then I heard the shouts from the boat. "Let go of the rope!!! LET...GO!!!" Immediately I thought, "What??? Are they nuts?!?" Even as I felt the boat slowing down I held on with a death grip. And then I realized that they were right. I had to let go in order for them to bring the boat around to retrieve me; otherwise, it's a scene similar to a dog chasing its tail. I loosened my grip, let go of the handle and allowed my ski belt to do its job and keep my head above water. The boat was soon at my side and I was hoisted aboard. I quickly decided that water skiing was not for me; I was much better at driving the boat. I did, however, on that summer day, learn the importance of Letting Go.

Over the past four or five years, I have been learning to loosen my grip and let go of a lot of things that I really thought were necessary in my life. It turns out that most of them have not served me in a positive way and some were quite detrimental. Much of the time, it was fear that kept me holding on and gripping so tightly. But I have learned there is great relief in addressing those fears and Letting Go.